Contextual advertising failure
Dec 2nd
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SHAKEN NOT...
Dec 1st
Dec 1st
10 Reasons to be Antisocial
Everything important in your life, the correct decisions, the perfect work, the life-changing...
Dec 1st
(via lesbenjamin)
Dec 1st
Ash: I've got Katy Perry on my itunes
Ash: I bet you don't
Me: I'd prefer to have her on my cock
Ash: I bet you don't
Me: I'd prefer to have her on my cock
Nov 30th
Dave's Holiday Tips
When driving long distances it is important to take a break every 2 hours – so turn on cruise...
Nov 30th
Nov 30th
Nov 29th
Nov 29th
Nov 29th
Nov 29th
Nov 29th
Nov 29th
Nov 29th
(via lesbenjamin)
Nov 28th
Nov 28th
Nov 28th
It was probably Asti Riccadonna
Ash: I broke a champagne last night, laughing at my mate who broke hisAsh: tis was during an award ceremony
Ash: so I did what I had to do
Ash: drink from the bottle
Ash: it was truly a classy effort
Nov 27th
Ash: we won a pencil at award
Me: Is it a 2B?
Me: or not 2B?
Me: :D
Me: Is it a 2B?
Me: or not 2B?
Me: :D
Nov 27th
Office drone #1: Hey, Thomas, how do you pronounce that customer's name?
Office drone #2: Which one?
Office drone #1: You know, the one I can't say right.
Office drone #2: "Roger"?
Office drone #1: ...yeah.
Office drone #2: Which one?
Office drone #1: You know, the one I can't say right.
Office drone #2: "Roger"?
Office drone #1: ...yeah.
Nov 27th
Design by M.C. Escher
Mailman: Is this the 3rd floor?Receptionist: No, this is the 2nd floor.
Mailman: But isn't the next floor like the ...4th floor?
Receptionist: No, that's the 3rd floor.
Mailman (confused): Yo, man, that's weird.
Nov 27th
Nov 27th
Nov 26th
Nov 26th
Nov 26th
Nov 26th
Nov 26th
Nov 26th
Writer, standing in doorway: You've got a lot of cat stuff in here now.
Designer: I was thinking that. It's kind of creepy. Seems like I might be gay, or some kind of weirdo loner who talks to his cat all the time.
Writer: Well, at least it's not saying things about you people don't already know
Designer: I was thinking that. It's kind of creepy. Seems like I might be gay, or some kind of weirdo loner who talks to his cat all the time.
Writer: Well, at least it's not saying things about you people don't already know
Nov 26th
Ash: some poor australian guy is on 7's Sunrise
Ash: he called in hiding in the kitchen of the hotel
Me: Yeah that'd be my first reaction if I was in the middle of a fucking massacre
Me: Call Kochie
Ash: he called in hiding in the kitchen of the hotel
Me: Yeah that'd be my first reaction if I was in the middle of a fucking massacre
Me: Call Kochie
Nov 26th
Nov 26th
Nov 26th
Nov 25th
Manager on phone, walking out of back office: Shut up! Just shut up! Jesus Christ! (hangs up phone).
(scared clerk is dead silent)
Manager: What? She's a bitch!
(phone rings)
Customer: Did I walk in on something?
Manager (calmly): Go to hell, mom. (angrily) I said go to hell! Die, bitch, die! (hangs up phone)
Scared clerk: You walked in on every day at this place. (shudders)
(scared clerk is dead silent)
Manager: What? She's a bitch!
(phone rings)
Customer: Did I walk in on something?
Manager (calmly): Go to hell, mom. (angrily) I said go to hell! Die, bitch, die! (hangs up phone)
Scared clerk: You walked in on every day at this place. (shudders)
Nov 25th
Ash: i walked out of macca's last fridy night drunk yelling "i haz a cheezburger'
Nov 25th
Best
Nov 25th
Nov 25th
Nov 25th
Nov 25th
Programmer Joke #9
Q: What is the difference between a programmer and a non-programmer ? A: The non-programmer...
Nov 25th
Programmer Joke #8
A Cobol programmer made so much money doing Y2K remediation that he was able to have himself...
Nov 25th
Programmer Joke #7
Saying that Java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because...
Nov 25th
Programmer Joke #6
Drug dealers: Refer to their clients as “users”. “The first one’s...
Nov 25th
Programmer Joke #5
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he...
Nov 25th
Programmer Joke #4
Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Nov 25th
Programmer Joke #3
“Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” *very long pause* “Java.”
Nov 25th
Programmer Joke #2
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and says, “Can I join you?”
Nov 25th
Programmer Joke #1
Q: how many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: none, that’s a hardware...
Nov 25th
Andy: read the top story on news.com.au
Andy: anyway this dude emails me and he's like
Andy: "there's $180 missing from my account!"
Andy: so i get set to interview him
Andy: and then he double checks his account
Andy: and it turns out he just went late night internet shopping and forgot
Andy: anyway this dude emails me and he's like
Andy: "there's $180 missing from my account!"
Andy: so i get set to interview him
Andy: and then he double checks his account
Andy: and it turns out he just went late night internet shopping and forgot
Nov 24th
Nov 24th
Ash: fuck thats foul
Ash: tissues on the desk
Ash: soaked in tea
Ash: looks oddly familiar
Ash: tissues on the desk
Ash: soaked in tea
Ash: looks oddly familiar
Nov 24th
Nov 24th
Ash: man I need to stop drinking mineral water
Ash: my ass has had enough
Ash: my ass has had enough
Nov 24th
madlove mums
Me: Also played my Xbox for the first timeMum: How was it?
Me: Good
Mum: That's a game thing, isn't it?
Nov 24th
Watch
Nov 24th
Watch
Nov 24th
Nov 24th
Me: How's your kitty?
Bri: well, after we went to sydney for ten days, she didnt like us anymore and wouldn't cuddle us or anything
Bri: but then a few weeks ago, we went out for the night and the little tart snuck outside without us noticing
Bri: we were staying over at a mate's place and got home at around 10am
Bri: she was nowhere to be found, and no amount of calling her or shaking her foodbox would bring her
Bri: so i was hungover as all hell and couldn't stop crying for the entire four and a half hours that it took for her to decide she was hungry enough to come back
Bri: and hten i cried for the rest of the night everytime i'd look at her
Bri: rofl
Bri: well, after we went to sydney for ten days, she didnt like us anymore and wouldn't cuddle us or anything
Bri: but then a few weeks ago, we went out for the night and the little tart snuck outside without us noticing
Bri: we were staying over at a mate's place and got home at around 10am
Bri: she was nowhere to be found, and no amount of calling her or shaking her foodbox would bring her
Bri: so i was hungover as all hell and couldn't stop crying for the entire four and a half hours that it took for her to decide she was hungry enough to come back
Bri: and hten i cried for the rest of the night everytime i'd look at her
Bri: rofl
Nov 23rd
Office bimbette #1: So, I bought a new car last night and I didn't need a guy to help me pick it out or make the deal or anything.
Office bimbette #2: For reals? What kind did of car did you get?
Office bimbette #1: A blue one.
Office bimbette #2: For reals? What kind did of car did you get?
Office bimbette #1: A blue one.
Nov 23rd
Communications manager: He said your box is boring.
Graphics designer: He said my box is what?
Webmaster: You have a boring box?
Graphics designer: I've never had complaints before.
Graphics designer: He said my box is what?
Webmaster: You have a boring box?
Graphics designer: I've never had complaints before.
Nov 23rd
Nov 21st
Someone stole his mango
Ash: Ken McKenzie became a fan of Remington Shotguns.11:41amAsh: Ken McKenzie became a fan of hammers.11:39am
Ash: Ken McKenzie became a fan of Swiss Army Knives.11:44am
Ash: Ken McKenzie became a fan of Mangos.11:37am
Nov 21st
Nov 21st
Ash: http://members.arstechnica.com/x/anacher/poster8616444.jpg
Ash: http://schnecke.bombcar.com/random/ars/poster99057644.jpg
Ash: http://schnecke.bombcar.com/random/ars/poster42407051.jpg
Ash: http://members.arstechnica.com/x/fxwizard/Norrisposter.jpg
Ash: http://members.arstechnica.com/x/fxwizard/fencingposter.jpg
Ash: http://members.shaw.ca/kryten1/posterEAP13.jpg
Ash: http://homepage.mac.com/mrjhandel/.Pictures/poster73567031.jpg
Me: Do some work cunt
Ash: http://schnecke.bombcar.com/random/ars/poster99057644.jpg
Ash: http://schnecke.bombcar.com/random/ars/poster42407051.jpg
Ash: http://members.arstechnica.com/x/fxwizard/Norrisposter.jpg
Ash: http://members.arstechnica.com/x/fxwizard/fencingposter.jpg
Ash: http://members.shaw.ca/kryten1/posterEAP13.jpg
Ash: http://homepage.mac.com/mrjhandel/.Pictures/poster73567031.jpg
Me: Do some work cunt
Nov 20th
Nov 20th
Nov 20th
(via lesbenjamin)
Nov 20th
Nov 20th
Nov 20th
(via lesbenjamin)
Nov 20th
Nov 19th
Nov 19th
Boss: I have a date tonight!
Sales girl: Just show lots of cleavage. That's what I do, and my dates always go well.
Boss: That's because you're a whore.
Sales girl: Just show lots of cleavage. That's what I do, and my dates always go well.
Boss: That's because you're a whore.
Nov 19th
(via lesbenjamin)
Nov 19th
Nov 19th
Ash: somethinsg vibrating on my desk
Ash: but I don't know where it's coming from
Ash: rouge dildo on the loose
Ash: but I don't know where it's coming from
Ash: rouge dildo on the loose
Nov 18th
Nov 18th
Nov 18th
Nov 18th
Nov 18th
Nov 18th
Nov 18th
gondaba:
quick, everyone chase the black guy!
Nov 17th
Watch
Nov 14th
Andy: what should i have for lunch?
Me: Porterhouse
Andy: oh YEAH
Andy: except that no
Andy: it needs to be something i can get takeaway
Me: Porterhouse sandwich?
Andy: hahaha
Andy: i don't know anywhere that would make one
Andy: what did YOU have for lunch?
Me: fetta and basil ravioli
Me: and a pint of hoegaarden
Andy: nice
Andy: in a vegetarian sort of way
Me: which isn't as good as a porterhouse sort of way, you mean.
Andy: no it's just *different*
Andy: ;)
Andy: i'm not saying that i'm right
Andy: just that you're wrong
Me: hey, fuck you, pal
Me: Porterhouse
Andy: oh YEAH
Andy: except that no
Andy: it needs to be something i can get takeaway
Me: Porterhouse sandwich?
Andy: hahaha
Andy: i don't know anywhere that would make one
Andy: what did YOU have for lunch?
Me: fetta and basil ravioli
Me: and a pint of hoegaarden
Andy: nice
Andy: in a vegetarian sort of way
Me: which isn't as good as a porterhouse sort of way, you mean.
Andy: no it's just *different*
Andy: ;)
Andy: i'm not saying that i'm right
Andy: just that you're wrong
Me: hey, fuck you, pal
Nov 14th
Nov 12th
“Each strand of this necklace corresponds in length to...
Nov 12th
Nov 12th
Nov 12th
Nov 11th
Ned: yes... yes I am a bear
Ned: I AM A BEAR, SUCK MY DICK I AM A BEAR
Ned: i mean.. a shark
Ned: I AM A BEAR, SUCK MY DICK I AM A BEAR
Ned: i mean.. a shark
Nov 11th
Nov 11th
Nov 11th
Nov 10th
Ash: fuck it
Ash: our internet is so fucked I can't do shit
Me: Like forming a proper sentence?
Ash: our internet is so fucked I can't do shit
Me: Like forming a proper sentence?
Nov 10th
Nov 9th
Nov 5th
Nov 4th
Watch
Nov 4th
Ben Wisdom
Benjamin: hahaha @ swedish girlsBenjamin: dood I've meet swedish girls
Benjamin: they're fuckin nuts
Benjamin: they love to drink shit loads of booze and fuck
Benjamin: hey you should get yourself a swedish girl
Nov 4th
Nov 4th
(via lesbenjamin)
Nov 1st
(via lesbenjamin)
Nov 1st