Ash: your a cunt
Me: You illiterate cunt
Jimmy: Such pretty long hair
Me: Dude you've got a mancrush
Jimmy: Dude, that singing chick is hot!
Jimmy: Hang on, that's a dude?!?!
Jimmy: [ spew ]
Andy: i wonder if you can hire booth babes fulltime
Andy: just to follow you around in skimpy outfits sort of putting their hands out and "showcasing" you
Andy: that's what i'd do if i was rich
Andy: i'd get two
Felix: i thought you used to break dance?
Me: No, I said I used to break hands
Felix: ah - no no - it was fry that break danced
Me: That's not the first time I've been confused with Fry
Felix: im not surprised
Ass - Titties - Ass n’ Titties
Andy when he gets older
Nurse: Do you smoke?
Older man: No.
Nurse: Have you ever smoked?
Older man: Yes.
Nurse: And how many cigarettes a day did you smoke?
Older man: Uh, three. No, five. A pack.
Nurse: And when did you quit?
Older man: Uh, yesterday.
Nurse: You're still smoking, aren't you?
Older man: Yes.
We're next door to a Blue Freeway company
I should go ask which hole I can go dump my money in to
stick print out of the stock chart under there door
With "You're doing it wrong" written in red texta
your such a cunt
its a privilege to know someone a bigger cunt than i
that means a lot to me
Rotating house always faces the sun - wow →
Customer: How much is a sheeet of 100 24-cent stamps?
Customer: Okay, I'll take a sheet.
Clerk: I don't have a sheet of 100. Will a roll of 100 be okay?
Customer: I don't know. How much is that?
From the archives
Lee: get away from me
Lee: YOU can smoke at work
Lee: i can’t
Me: That sucks
Me: Brb. Smoke.
Lee: i will get you for that