Boss: If the phone rings, and I'm still here...
Secretary: You're not here?
Boss: Right. I don't care if it's Carmen Electra calling for an emergency titty-fuck.
Female coworker, after cutting in line to get her lunch: What happened to "ladies first"?
Male coworker: The womens' rights movement.
Don't knock it, it's hours of fun
Lee: these two. I think i tried for them on my camea.
Lee: esp. the 2nd one
Lee: hopefully it works
Me: That first shot looks like a miniature
Lee: yeah, they do look like those fake trees you have on train sets
Me: Except my train set when I was a kid was just a piece of masonite with a circular track
Lee: and it was nailed down, right?
Lee: yeah, know the feeling
Lee: had to use lego to decorate it
Lee: ended up just playig with the lego
Me: Back then I could happily sit and watch the train go around in a circle for hours
Lee: from the mind that brought you the "Throw a rock at a rock" game
Felix: ive started blowing on j whilst ruffling his hair - he loves it
Ash: what can I take for flu
Ash: my joints are killing me
Ash: thats for throats you sock smoker
Ash: I mean cock
Ash: fuck it
Developer on phone with admin: Yeah, just add it to the list. The account name is 'consumer', password 'buttfucker'. Thanks.
Secretary #1: I have Mountain Dew.
Secretary #2: Excuse me?
Secretary #1: I have Mountain Dew. (pause) My boobs are sweating.
Got a joke for ya
I had a car accident this morning. The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf! He looked up at me and said “I am NOT Happy!” So I said, “Well, which one ARE you then?” That’s how the fight started.
Me: I'm on the cusp of intermediate/advanced
Andy says: your mother's a cusp
Me says: So's your face
Andy says: sure is
Andy says: my face is on the cusp between breathtakingly handsome and irresistably awesome
Andy says: thanks for noticing
Me says: your face is on the cusp of being an ass
Andy says: your face is a lame comeback
Me says: so's your mum
Lowest Common Denominator
From News.com.au (of course): The only thing being blocked is content which would be classified as “Refused Classification” under the current Australian Classification Guidelines. This includes things like rape, actual crimes, inciting terrorism, and of course child pornography. The campaign against mandatory filtering is being run by people who want unrestricted access to that type of...
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-1-25) →
Protest the Hero (67) Opeth (15) Fear Factory (12) In Extremis (12) The Prodigy (10) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Lee: hmm. bad sign
Lee: you aren't normally that pro-active unles a: you're being smug about a good word
Lee: b: you're really bored
Lee: c: you've been sober for over a week
Me: d: all of the above
Intern to boss: Ya ever just wanna work with no pants on?
Boss to secretary: At my last job, the two tech guys were the happiest. Except for the one that killed himself.